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Added Jun 23, 2020

Breathe

Some day you will look back and know exactly why it had to happen

I remember, 1st January 2018, as the New Year begins, I immersed myself In the world of colors and was working on a painting. I took the pressure of creating a masterpiece, as I wanted it badly. I have to justify my decision of quitting my well-paid job. But as you know...Art is Art....it is from the heart. You can't create a masterpiece in pressure, like you can't fall in love by force or in pressure. It takes it's own time and no matter the research done, you cannot put in your logic.

Since the time I remember, I always like to go out, either for work, hangout with friends, for any activity, etc. But with this change in career, I was back at home (after working in Corporate life for 8 years). It was difficult, I was not used to this changed routine though it was my decision to switch.

And apart from all this, I was also struggling in my personal life with heart ache.  And with nowhere to go, this heartache was getting strong.

People say in order to distract yourself from one problem, invent a bigger problem.

So with my problems of heartache and this home routine, I got the opportunity to go on a Chader trek. A blanket of snow is formed on Zanskar river in Ladakh during winter, and the trek is a trail of 105 km (one way). It takes about 9 days to complete it. And I thought that this trip and some physical hardship wall ease the heartache. I thought that i could freeze the pain at -30 degree celsius. But noooooooooo.....pain is not water. i was wrong. At -30degree Celcius, at high altitude, along with the emotional pain, other pains get escalated. 

You just have to keep walking to keep yourself warm. Nights are scary, as the harshness of cold gets bitter and it is difficult to sleep. You can't roam, you can't turn, as you will lose the slight warmth of the sleeping bag. You see the darkness with your eyes wide open. You hallucinate with all your fears coming live. You have to accept it, whatever it is and once you accept, things starts turning better.

Acceptance is what was required. Once you accept, you can see the starts in that darkness. You start feeling less cold, you walk more and get tired and get better sleep. And this is the way you Survive. And life is all about Survival. 

Survival on 92x92 cm canvas (SOLD)

This painting is about Survival. And is surviving on the wall of Prathamesh Soni, a friend, an artist, who put his emotions in words in the form of poetry.

The night had only grown. Fifty-nine minutes past four, I could feel the rotation of the Earth in the blitzkrieg of the stars, in the whirl of the winds. I could feel the seasons shift in the percussion of the heart beating, in the waving of the pendulum's swinging.

It was all in motion.

The hazy constellation.
The moon's aberration.
The sun's hibernation.
The time's reincarnation.

Please stop.

Read me your Bible,
Hallelujah to your disciple,
scriptures conviction,
the only truth's crucifixion.

Please stop.

Stars fade.
Moon's escapade.
Dawn's revival.
Another Survival.

5 A.M. .
-P.S.

Presenting "Survival" by @atignasart. It's very essence is in the hope it splays onto our souls that life goes on. It goes on.

Interior credit @Artwind